Free For All Friday

I found a bunch of amazing tattoos today but none that really fit into any good theme. I'm about to rush out of work and go to a wedding this weekend, and my brain is kind of frazzled from some intense video footage I've been working on, so I'm just going to post the pictures and let you guys decide where they fit yourselves.

Have an awesome weekend!

xo

More Zombie Jesus

I found some more Zombie Jesuses (Jesii? Jesusi?) for you guys. It really wasn't very hard. I guess part of the whole allure of Jesus is that he's a zombie, right? Filling in the eyes really would help to make him look more alive and less like he wants to eat brains, though.







these Jesuses have eyes but they're really not any better.

Trippy Tree

I'm announcing a new category: "WTF is this?" A couple of my past posts should have been in this category (skull bong, for example), but this one definitely fits.
The .jpg is named "trippy tree tattoo", and I can make out the tree trunk, but what are the other blobs around it? A weird smiley face with shark teeth? Sauron's eye? A head of some kind over on the left? What's the green thing sticking out on the right?
Any insight from you guys would be appreciated.

Amazing Back Pieces

I have a confession to make. The more I do research for this blog, the more I am falling in love with terrible biker metal tattoos. I want a million of them. Every time I see a huge back piece with demons or dragons on it I get jealous.

I like to think that this guy started with the demon tramp stamp at the bottom and then worked his way up. My favorite part is the skeletons. They're super sweet.


This lady has pretty much every tattoo cliche imaginable, all in one spot! The squishy-headed crosseyed wizard is my favorite part. You can see he's trying to figure out how he got lumped in with all the other random tattoos and isn't too happy about it.


I should start a zombiejesus category. I am pretty sure I can find a bunch more where this one came from. He really wants brains. Braaaaains.


And, for the grand finale. Words cannot express my sorrow for this dude.

Angels

I realize this is a sensitive post to make, as many people get angel tattoos as memorials, and so making fun of them is a pretty awful thing to do. However, I just can't help posting these.

This angel looks like she's melting and someone took sandpaper to the lines. And does it look like her legs are way too short, or is it just me?


This dude is fine until you get to the crotch area. Where is his junk and why is he grabbing at nothing?


Why is there shading outside the lines? Is that a boob hanging out or a tumor? Why is the foot so long? WHAT is going on with the right arm and hand holding her hair back? Why is the right hand so stumpy?


And then there's this one. I can't really understand what is going on. there's an angel on a podium hiding her head. There's some smiling something above her. There's some kind of sun and a bunch of lightningbolts. And some kind of weird floating head to the left. It looks like my high school doodles, frankly.


And finally, a couple horrendous NSFW angels with really, really bad faces:
one here
and one here

Celebrity Portraits

Okay, so I have been joking for over a year now about getting two amazing portrait tattoos. One one thigh, I want David Duchovny as agent Mulder, with Gillian Anderson as agent Skully, and a bunch of UFO's and aliens and bigfoot and flukeman. On the other thigh, I want David Duchovny as the cross dressing agent on Twin Peaks, with Kyle MacLachlan as agent Cooper, with cherry pie and some logs and some coffee and maybe a dead crow or a percolator with a fish in it. The idea is hilarious to me and somehow I still find it hilarious over a year later (which is one test as to whether a tattoo is really worth getting or not). The thing is, I think David Duchovny would be a really hard guy to get a good portrait of (not to mention the fact that I probably would regret the whole thing later on down the line).

Anyway, here is some proof that celebrity portraits can be downright terrible.

Pinup Girls

Here are some really bad pinup girls, for your viewing pleasure.
Please note that they are all A) badly drawn and/or B) badly executed.

Look at the proportions on this one! She has no neck!


This is obviously a photo of a fresh tattoo, so I'm sure it evened out and looked better once it healed. However, the shading still looks splotchy, the 'halo' around her is bizarre, the mouth is wonky, and the outlines look scratchy.


The linework on this poor girl is terrible, and the drawing is too.